The Boys of Gruberville: a kind of begining.

Hello! My name's Henry. I'd like to tell you a little story, about two young boys named Jarred and Stephen. I tell this story to everyone I can, mostly because I just like to talk. And partly because, well, these two are a lot of fun. The boys live in Gruberville, just 10 miles north of Springfield. It's a small rural town, in the center of the world. Families look out for one another, and the streets are mostly always clean. A normal kind of town, were dogs chase cats, and cats chase mice. Boys chase girls and girls chase boys, when they're big enough and/or have formed into an army. We celebrate Independence Day in Gruberville, and Christmas. And well, it's pretty much your average American town. Well almost normal. You see, Stephen and Jarred just turned twelve. Well more precisely Stephen turned 12 on the 23rd. That'd be yesterday. And Jarred's only two more days away from his birthday on the 26th. The boys live about a block away from one another, and share almost everything. They won't share their baseball cards, but they do trade them from time to time. They share marbles, bikes, and a small raft. Also shared is a tree house over at the Crow house. That's Jarred's family. The boys share the riding lawn mower over at the Myers place. That's Stephen's family, I think the Myers originally hail from some mid-southern mountain area. They don't have much of a southern twang left in their vocabulary cept for maybe a drawn out A sound here and there. Which makes understanding them quite easier than understanding some of their relatives when they come for a visit.

Families in Gruberville are pretty modern, with exception maybe to the Miller house hold/farm. The Millers don't use electricity. They hand pump their water every day, but then they use just about every other modern convenience that you don't plug in. In town the Police Chief and his crew are pretty laid back, but old school rules apply most everywhere else. You respect elders, and hold doors open for ladies. If a boy hurts a girl, he pretty much expects his back side to be humming when he gets home. None-the-less, back to Stephen and Jarred. Who's backsides, coincidentally, were not humming today. Yet. Give 'em time.

The boys share, flashlights, pocket knives, and sometimes shoes. They share mini race cars, candy, and at times really corny jokes. Oh, and they share one of the coolest things this planet has ever known. That is, they share the greatest dog in the world. He's a 1 1/2 year old Black Lab. He's funny, and brave, and oh yeah, he's gotta be just about the smartest dog there is. Okay so I'm kind of braggin' on him, er uh, rather myself here. Yep, that's right........it's me, Henry. You see, Jarred and Stephen live their lives so unaffected by the laws of nature that there is usually some kind of story to tell. And I figured if anyone was going to hear about them, then I would have to do the telling. So off we go, into somewhere in the chaos of Gruberville, I call the Boys.

Stephen bellowed "Henry? HENRY!? Come 'ere boy." He tossed me a bite of his bologna sandwich, and we headed off to Jarred's house. We trotted down the driveway and went round Mrs. Myers flower bed. Even I knew you would get the business end of the corn husk broom if her flowers were hurt. Mrs. Myers took great pride in carrying for her flowers. The boys would even take special care when mowing the yard to make sure that the grass clippings were shooting away from her rose bushes. Daily she would care and prune, water and sing to the flowers. That's right, sing. Sometimes she would sing "Raindrops keep falling on my head" if it was sprinkling out there, and other times you'd hear her humming "The Yellow Rose of Texas" while she cared for golden toned flowers. Now we don't live in Texas, but that didn't bother her none. However, more often than not she would be singing some song straight out of the Church's Hymn book. She was in the choir after all, and 'practice makes perfect' she'd say. Mostly she would say "I just enjoy singing Praises to my Jesus". Stephen jumped over his younger brother James' bicycle sitting on the sidewalk. I jumped right after. James was inside getting a Band-Aid put on his knee for the 2nd time in 3 days. He tried to jump over the railroad tie that was between the Myers yard and the neighbors. Crazy kid.

Stephen arrived at the Crow's house just in time to see the whole family getting into their car. "Where ya guys going?" He asked. "To the torture chamber." Jarred answered sounding desperately sarcastic. And Stephen knew what he meant by that. Still Mrs. Crow corrected him and said "We're going to get school clothes young man." Then turning toward Stephen "You're welcome to come if you like sweet-heart. We'll go by and let your folks know where you'll be." Stephen cringed at the sweet-heart comment, then looked at his most bestest friend, who was now begging him with his eyes to accompany him on this treacherous journey. Looking at Stephen like he would die if he didn't come, Jarred clasped his hands together and mouthed the word Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease. "Come on Henry, were going to the store." Stephen said. I jumped in and sat down next to Jarred's older sister Sandy. "Get your mutt away from me." She cried wiping what she thought was a hair off of her dress. 'Mutt am I? How rude.’ I leaned over and slobber-slurped her cheek real good. "Yuck! Mom, does this drooling beast have to come with us?" She cried out again. "Jarred, put Henry between you and Stephen." Mrs. Crow requested. So I moved over to the other side of Jarred, but not before giving Sandy one more Beast Drooling slurp up her nose. It was okay though, Sandy always kept her nose clean. I was snot worried there. Yeah, us dogs can have a corny sense of humor too.

Jarred, Stephen and I walked straight back to the boys clothes section of Norton's Department Store. As a rule most dogs were not allowed in Norton’s. Your first visit was scrutinized by the Mrs. of the owner. Thankfully during my first visit there was a lot of fan fair for the newest puppy in town and I had just visited the fire hydrant before coming in so no accidents that day. "Thanks for coming buddy. Without you here, I would have to listen to all the snotty remarks from Sandy about the clothes Mom picks out." Jarred told Stephen while giving a ‘you saved my life’ shoulder squeeze. "I'm just glad we're not caught up in that “FT” garbage that all the girls at school are." Stephen added. “FT” was for Fashion Teen. It was a teen magazine that many of the gar-girls followed almost religiously. (Sorry, but Gar-girl is a name that the boys use to describe girls who continuously bug them. I tend to forget that I'm supposed to be bipartisan in my story telling, and get caught up in the moment. I am a boy after all. So to speak. Yeah, boy, that’s right...four legs, a tail, and a tinkler. Definitely boy.) From clothes to room decoration, it was any boys nightmare. Mostly because they included clothing and hair and room decor' tips for boys too. And not one boy in town came close to matching the magazines 'fashion stuglies' as they were often referenced. Most boys, that were forced by a girl friend to look at the pictures in the mag, said that the clothes looked Stupid and/or Ugly. From which, you get Stugly.

Jarred promised Stephen he'd be there for him when the Myers went looking for school clothes. "Gotta stick together." He said. "Yeah, well, you only have to contend with Sandy, I've got an older and a younger sister." Stephen quickly popped back. The boys looked at each other. "Double trouble." They said, snickering simultaneously. "Jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes. That's all a man needs to survive." Stephen said. "You said it. Why would you need anything else?" However, there was Sunday go to meeting clothes, School Picture day clothes, and family holiday picture day clothes. They were pretty much the same suit, with a few different shirts and ties. But those didn't count to the boys, cause they were only worn a little bit between the normal parts of time. The absolute worst part for Jarred and Stephen, besides the fashion attack from the girls, was the little boy’s clothes that their mothers still tried to get them to wear. "But you look so cute in that shirt." The moms would say. And here is where the boys had to help each other out.

When it came to Motherly opinions, Stephen couldn't bare to hurt his moms feelings, and neither would Jarred hurt his mom's. Then one time when Mrs. Myers picked the boys up from baseball practice, she made a detour to Norton's to find some fabric for the quilt she was making. It was a nice visit to the store until she made a sudden detour while heading to the register. Out of the corner of her eye she saw and was convinced that the baby blue hooded pull over with the mini-sail boat on it would be perfect for her son. Oh if you could have seen the look on Stephen's face. Priceless Fear of Eternal Ridicule. You'd of thought his soul was slipping away. Pale from head to toe. But Jarred saw the look on Mrs. Myers face and jumped in before she could say a word "Stephen, isn't this the dorkiest thing you ever saw. I mean baby blue, yuck!" It all happened so fast but Stephen was grateful for the help in dodging that bazooka bullet. And now the tradition continues. Whenever there is clothes shopping to do the boys run constant interference for each other.

So there you have some of the beginning and a smudge of the middle. I look forward telling you more about The Boys of Gruberville.

Henry the Dog.