May, a month of MADAM Mayhem 8 ! ! !

Thursday, May 29th 101:56 am:

“So who can tell me the name of the river General Washington is crossing in this picture here?” Mrs. Stintenhutt asked as she pointed to the middle picture in a series of revolutionary war drawings. Bradley Miller was the only on to raise his hand. Bradley was the star pupil of the class. In fact, Bradley was the star pupil of the entire school and district. Statewide Spelling Bee champion for grade schooler's, Math wiz, Science project Blue ribbon winner. The boy just didn’t know how to Not succeed. The teacher called out “Stephen Beatty?!” He turned his eyes up from the Elmer’s Glue Booger he was making in the palm of his hand. “Yes Ma’am.” He replied. “Do you have an answer for my question, or is your glue booger going to take priority over this lesson.” she asked back. The whole class giggled. “And what about you Miss Cooper. You are giggling pretty loud over there. Do you have an answer?” Stintenhutt asked. “No Ma’am.” “Well I might as well let you all know now. This and much more is going to be on the final exam next week. I strongly suggest that you all open your books this weekend and get you minds wrapped around this information. As much as I like this class, I still do not want to see any of you held back, and end up back in my class again next year because of a simple history test.” “YES MA’AM” The collective disappointed sigh of a response came.

11:20 am:

The recess bell rings on cue. Books are shoved into desks, hands are clasped on the top of the desks, and silence now fills the room. “Class dismissed.” excused the teacher. The kids all walked like ladies and gentlemen to the door outside, and then as quick as you can blink, they dropped the false dignity and bolted for the playground equipment. The boys noticed “The BOB” going straight to their table, but Suzanne wasn’t with them. Then, as if in stereo “OH THAT’S RIGHT! SUZY MOO CHEW’S NEW LUNCH CREW IS WITH THE BLUE FEW, WHO WITH OUT A CLUE DREW FRICKLEMIER’S TRUE DOO OF A BALD HUE INN THE WATER LOO.” Did you all get that? Allow me to explain. Suzanne didn’t end up getting the chair, like the boys had hoped. Instead she had to spend her lunch time and recess with the two sixth graders who were caught drawing a picture (darn good likeness too) of Principle Fricklemier without his toupee’ on the boys bathroom wall. Dwayne and Dwight. The only set of twins in Grueberville, if you don’t count Jarred and Stephen. It was but a stroke of timing that kept the boys from getting blamed. As it was the D-twins, were busted while adding the Hitler mustache, by Picklebuyer himself. Having experienced “In School Suspension” them selves, Stephen and Jarred really wanted to see Suzanne get The Chair. But then, imagining her sitting between the twins with their manure packed boots, and their newly developed coming of age scent (Puberty was coming on strong and boy did they need to learn the use of deodorant.) brought the largest smiles, that would later make their faces sore, to the boys for the rest of the school year.

3:07 pm:

The boys taunted Suzanne on her way home. There wasn’t much that she could do about it. She was busted for a high crime and the entire town knew about it. The enforcers had only accompanied her the last few days. The other BOB’s were not happy about her “Kiss & Blame” stunt. Sandy thought it was crossing the line. She and “The BOB” had their differences with her brother and Stephen, but blood was still thicker. Suzanne could have gotten Jarred into some seriously big trouble if the Hinkey kid hadn’t talked. Mr. Crow always said that you should respect the body of a woman. That meant you don’t hit, you don’t kiss, you don’t touch unless invited. And even then you better make sure. If the lips of a son of Mr. Crow were to touch a girls lips uninvited, those same lips would meet with Mr. Crows fist. Ouch. And he meant it. Boys will be boys, but you don’t act like “ANIMALS”. I kind of take offence to the last part of that remark, but then I am a dog.
Henry the Dog.